One day. Only one day left. I'll have to go back after tomorrow has gone by. To face reality once more.

I would like to go back, actually. To lose myself in the blur of these last few months. That doesn't mean I won't keep up with everything, of course. I would like to stay somewhere in between, if possible.

At the same time, I'd rather not go back. I want to forget for a little while longer. To have all the time in the world to do what I want to do. To not have any stress or pressure on me. (Do I have the right to say that, I wonder?) No worries, absolutely nothing.

These past several days, I've tried to keep myself as busy (and in as much company) as possible to stop these thoughts from entering my mind. Not that it worked. They push their way in, anyway, especially when I'm about to sleep. What happened that day just pushed so many new thoughts into my head. Perhaps, if things hadn't finished the way they had, I wouldn't be wallowing in these thoughts so much. Maybe I wouldn't be thinking more than usual. Maybe I would have actually enjoyed this free week. Or maybe it wouldn't change a thing.

They say that it's a happy occasion - something that should be celebrated. Being able to finish something so you can move on to the next. Of course it's something to be happy about (especially since you spent so much time - years, perhaps? - just to finish, and if you finish extraordinarily well... but that's a different story, and I never managed to make it, anyway), but if you experienced and gained so much along the way, how can you be happy about letting it all go? How can you celebrate when you have to force yourself to let go?

It's times like this when I can't help but feel envious of people who are so optimistic and carefree yet focused in life, wishing I could be the same.